Lewis replied, "I feel my decision was not so important. I was the object rather than the subject in this affair. I was decided upon. I was glad afterwards the way it came out, but at the moment what I heard was God saying, ‘put down your gun and we’ll talk.’”
Wirt pressed Lewis further, “That sounds to me as if you came to a very definite point of decision.”
Lewis commented, “Well I would say that the most deeply compelled action is also the freest action…I chose, yet it really did not seem possible to do the opposite."
In one of Austin Farrer’s books Lord, I Believe, found at Wheaton’s Wade Center, Lewis underlined and marked his friend’s book echoing a similar thought as that given above,
“The assistance of God does not remove the reality of our decisions; when we are most in God then we are most freely ourselves.”
- From the paper: "Grace in the Conversion of C.S. Lewis" by Art Lindsley