I've been a Christian for decades and yet every week, at least once a week, I am struck by how one tends to reduce life, Christianity and God till they are mere shadowy outlines, if that, barely resembling (and sometimes not) what actually exists. Simply put, have you ever tried to describe yourself to someone? I think the younger you are, the easier it is. Once you pass a certain age, you likely have left off with the herd mentality and realize how difficult it is to describe your preferences and talents in a few sentences. Presumption is pretty much always a dangerous thing.
Struggle, knowledge, feelings and self-knowledge:
I know I don't know much about God but as a learner (which is what a disciple of Christ is), there is much trial and error involved. Trial-and-error means I will be wrong, come up empty-handed and actually fail. How do you feel when you fail? I feel frustrated, angry and sometimes disappointed.
But-and this is important-when God's truth and my pure human passion (for God) meet, it is at this juncture where "the trees of knowledge and of life grow together" - each containing "some blood and sap."
And when there is this co-mingling of God's gracious truth and my sincere desire, my entire appetite, that something happens. It seems that this is the place where the Spirit of Christ works in a person's life. God's truth is no longer inert; its catalyst is my appetite. No, that's not entirely accurate, for my appetite is unstimulated in a mere brush with God's Truth. Likewise mere doctrinal truth – which is in a sense information – can never transform a person.
Yet, in these learning moments as a Christian, something has happened. It has not happened purely by an act of my will nor as a result of my feeling something (emotion). In these learning moments God has in His way created and is creating life. Upon reflection, I am, in a sense, living history which is uninterpretable by myself.
Uninterpretable because I am the subject, and so I can communicate, but I cannot interpret properly since I have no basis for objectivity. At the same time, I cannot afford luxury of subjectivity (since subjectivity is being interpreting ones feelings back to oneself).
So, what do I know about transformation? Like I said, it takes Him, and my willingness to move forward meekly. God's stock-in-trade is people. I am happy that He's been in the People-Creation Business since Adam.